Fitsitbus is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, idiotic raccoon.

Fitsitbus created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitsitbus, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitsitbus, he will not care.

Fitsitbus' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fitsitbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

3. Never wear cyan tights.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Do not sing in public.