Higbonxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, annoying armadillo.

Higbonxuck created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Higbonxuck, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Higbonxuck, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Higbonxuck's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Higbonxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Higbonxuck.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Run away from turquoise turtles, for they are unholy.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Higbonxuck.