Yarttalvon is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, strong badger.

Yarttalvon created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarttalvon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarttalvon, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Yarttalvon's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Yarttalvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yarttalvon's priests.

2. Never jump near porpoises.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never laugh in the presence of moths.

5. Fast once a month.