Bitlarnbon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, vain hedgehog.

Bitlarnbon created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitlarnbon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bitlarnbon, he will ignore you.

Bitlarnbon's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bitlarnbon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bitlarnbon.

2. Bitlarnbon must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always obey Bitlarnbon's priests.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Always take life seriously.