Taljapzadrow is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful wyrm.

Taljapzadrow created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taljapzadrow, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Taljapzadrow, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Taljapzadrow's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Taljapzadrow's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Do not hurt swans.

4. Never paint your head green.

5. Respect your elders.