Cinmondadjathanpod Loopnankon Himbanquam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, awe-inspiring chinchilla.

Cinmondadjathanpod Loopnankon Himbanquam created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Cinmondadjathanpod Loopnankon Himbanquam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cinmondadjathanpod Loopnankon Himbanquam, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Cinmondadjathanpod Loopnankon Himbanquam's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cinmondadjathanpod Loopnankon Himbanquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.