Vabwadyik is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, sage dog.

Vabwadyik created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabwadyik, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vabwadyik, he will not care at all.

Vabwadyik's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Vabwadyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vabwadyik.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never feed peas to snails while wearing violet jumpers.