Tamgupwik is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthinking hydra.

Tamgupwik created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Tamgupwik, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tamgupwik, it will destroy your home planet.

Tamgupwik's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tamgupwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tamgupwik's priests.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

3. Feed all hungry voles.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Retreat if four monkeys approach from the north.