Loopzimzuss is a god.

He takes the form of a large, all-knowing scorpion.

Loopzimzuss created the Tadpole Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopzimzuss, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Loopzimzuss, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Loopzimzuss' most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Loopzimzuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not kill ants.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.