Bonkbopcub is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, strong squid.

Bonkbopcub created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbopcub, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bonkbopcub, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bonkbopcub's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bonkbopcub's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

2. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Bonkbopcub on top of important buildings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.