Bonkbopcub is a god.
It takes the form of a minute, strong squid.
Bonkbopcub created humanity four trillion years ago.
If you believe in Bonkbopcub, it will give you a free planet.
If you do not believe in Bonkbopcub, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.
Bonkbopcub's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.
Bonkbopcub's Holy Commandments
1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.
2. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Bonkbopcub on top of important buildings.
3. Fast once a month.
4. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.
5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.