Bissnilmidarf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing snail.

Bissnilmidarf created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissnilmidarf, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bissnilmidarf, it will not invite you to parties.

Bissnilmidarf's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bissnilmidarf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

2. Never jump in the presence of monkeys.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bissnilmidarf.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.