Latmadfet is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, boastful tortoise.

Latmadfet created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Latmadfet, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Latmadfet, it will send you a sign.

Latmadfet's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Latmadfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of hamsters.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Latmadfet on top of all buildings.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.