Jonsisrigren is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, omnipotent jaguar.

Jonsisrigren created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonsisrigren, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jonsisrigren, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Jonsisrigren's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Jonsisrigren's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Jonsisrigren.

2. Never talk about swans.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never sing in the presence of goats.

5. Hide from red geese for they are unholy.