Yamcimgat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest ferret.

Yamcimgat created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamcimgat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yamcimgat, he will jump up and down on your head.

Yamcimgat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Yamcimgat's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not take Yamcimgat's name in vain.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never hurt great tits.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.