Bossfighit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, contented octopus.

Bossfighit created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossfighit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bossfighit, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bossfighit's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bossfighit's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven dolphins approach from the west.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Bossfighit loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink alcohol.