Appbopsit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, caring porpoise.

Appbopsit created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Appbopsit, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Appbopsit, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Appbopsit's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Appbopsit's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about pigs.

3. Always help ants in need.

4. Always help otters.

5. You must love Appbopsit.