Jinwonjarn is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable swallow.

Jinwonjarn created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinwonjarn, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jinwonjarn, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jinwonjarn's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Jinwonjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never feed figs to porpoises while wearing gray ear rings.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.