Hogdanlarpbommid is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, competent elephant.

Hogdanlarpbommid created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hogdanlarpbommid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hogdanlarpbommid, he will remove you from existence.

Hogdanlarpbommid's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Hogdanlarpbommid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Hogdanlarpbommid must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always obey Hogdanlarpbommid's priests.

5. Do not commit murder.