Ortdosstik is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid jellyfish.

Ortdosstik created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ortdosstik, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ortdosstik, it will turn you into a dog.

Ortdosstik's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ortdosstik's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ortdosstik.

2. Do not hurt foxes.

3. Ortdosstik loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

5. Hide if five sharks approach from the south.