Tarpcisslag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic raven.

Tarpcisslag created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tarpcisslag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarpcisslag, he will not invite you to parties.

Tarpcisslag's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tarpcisslag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near ants.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not take Tarpcisslag's name in vain.

4. Tarpcisslag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.