Cadzigcimquafgigmatbun Witkiphiv is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless rhinoceros.

Cadzigcimquafgigmatbun Witkiphiv created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadzigcimquafgigmatbun Witkiphiv, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cadzigcimquafgigmatbun Witkiphiv, she will be very unhappy.

Cadzigcimquafgigmatbun Witkiphiv's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cadzigcimquafgigmatbun Witkiphiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Cadzigcimquafgigmatbun Witkiphiv must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.