Zesspopbess is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, passionate chicken.

Zesspopbess created the Sombrero Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Zesspopbess, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zesspopbess, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Zesspopbess' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Zesspopbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always help sick voles.