Botnellved is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered tortoise.

Botnellved created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botnellved, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Botnellved, she will ignore you.

Botnellved's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Botnellved's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Botnellved.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Botnellved on top of all buildings.

5. Feed all hungry frogs.