Zagomindan Vagnarlquaggat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing frog.

Zagomindan Vagnarlquaggat created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagomindan Vagnarlquaggat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zagomindan Vagnarlquaggat, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zagomindan Vagnarlquaggat's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Zagomindan Vagnarlquaggat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Zagomindan Vagnarlquaggat loves mice, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed peanuts to sheep while wearing green trousers.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Fast once a month.