Mattarpjamarp is a god.

It takes the form of a small, unjust fish.

Mattarpjamarp created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mattarpjamarp, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mattarpjamarp, it will destroy your home solar system.

Mattarpjamarp's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Mattarpjamarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Mattarpjamarp's name in vain.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never feed spinach to squirrels while wearing turquoise trousers.

5. Always treat dolphins with great respect.