Wankemlap is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humane cow.

Wankemlap created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wankemlap, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wankemlap, she will have a low opinion of you.

Wankemlap's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Wankemlap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Wankemlap loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never sit in holy places.
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