Padfonsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate seal.

Padfonsaf created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Padfonsaf, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Padfonsaf, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Padfonsaf's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Padfonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Always help sick nematodes.