Stanyarlhas is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient yak.

Stanyarlhas created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanyarlhas, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stanyarlhas, he will think nothing of it.

Stanyarlhas' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Stanyarlhas' Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls in need.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help tapirs.