Dodfig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, proud hippopotamus.

Dodfig created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dodfig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dodfig, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dodfig's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Dodfig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dodfig.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never wear turquoise skirts.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always treat geese with great respect.