Wegpinhab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, resourceful owl.

Wegpinhab created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegpinhab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wegpinhab, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Wegpinhab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Wegpinhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never paint your chest brown.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away from red swans, for they are unholy.