Jamxinwap is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, two-faced crab.

Jamxinwap created the Whirlpool Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamxinwap, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jamxinwap, it will turn you into a mole.

Jamxinwap's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Jamxinwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick seals.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never bounce in the presence of whales.