Tonknuttsit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, competent wombat.

Tonknuttsit created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonknuttsit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonknuttsit, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tonknuttsit's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tonknuttsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never feed coconuts to frogs while wearing red skirts.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tonknuttsit.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.