Gonxinbafmob is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, merciful centaur.

Gonxinbafmob created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gonxinbafmob, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gonxinbafmob, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gonxinbafmob's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gonxinbafmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Always help monkeys.