Flaggonnel is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, merciless human.

Flaggonnel created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaggonnel, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flaggonnel, he will turn you into a slug.

Flaggonnel's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Flaggonnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not take Flaggonnel's name in vain.

5. Hide from yellow pigs for they are unholy.