Pitnurzagbep is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, dishonourable camel.

Pitnurzagbep created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitnurzagbep, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pitnurzagbep, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Pitnurzagbep's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Pitnurzagbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals.

2. Never paint your hands fawn.

3. Always look after injured great tits.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Hide if seven sheep approach from the north.