Parkvilpig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, strong rat.

Parkvilpig created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkvilpig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Parkvilpig, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Parkvilpig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Parkvilpig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Parkvilpig.

3. Run away if three geese approach from the west.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Always pray immersed in water.