Tarpflyquag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, conceited human.

Tarpflyquag created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpflyquag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tarpflyquag, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tarpflyquag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tarpflyquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Tarpflyquag on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Do not eat figs.