Vongepfat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, humorless otter.

Vongepfat created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vongepfat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vongepfat, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vongepfat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Vongepfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about badgers.

2. Put Vongepfat first in all things.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Always treat seals with great respect.

5. Hide if seven eagles approach from the south.