Lamdinved is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, astonishing hydra.

Lamdinved created the Virgo Supercluster six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamdinved, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lamdinved, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lamdinved's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Lamdinved's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never jump in the presence of mites.

5. You must pray to Lamdinved three times a day.