Tonponflab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, amazing cobra.

Tonponflab created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonponflab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tonponflab, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tonponflab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tonponflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never hurt dogs.