Gubvonknad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unsympathetic monkey.

Gubvonknad created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubvonknad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gubvonknad, he will have a low opinion of you.

Gubvonknad's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Gubvonknad's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gubvonknad.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never paint your arms orange.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must never eat bread.