Witstanaf Cibjopcar Middavtip is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, boastful finch.

Witstanaf Cibjopcar Middavtip created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witstanaf Cibjopcar Middavtip, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Witstanaf Cibjopcar Middavtip, he will come to you in dreams.

Witstanaf Cibjopcar Middavtip's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Witstanaf Cibjopcar Middavtip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always wear green.

3. Always treat turtles with great respect.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never feed gooseberries to tortoises while wearing red shorts.