Yogbanquartrentailpak Nurlfittarp Quagruttbin is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous alligator.

Yogbanquartrentailpak Nurlfittarp Quagruttbin created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogbanquartrentailpak Nurlfittarp Quagruttbin, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yogbanquartrentailpak Nurlfittarp Quagruttbin, he will turn you into a rat.

Yogbanquartrentailpak Nurlfittarp Quagruttbin's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Yogbanquartrentailpak Nurlfittarp Quagruttbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Never sing in the presence of geese.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.