Vilkomtiflarn is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, uncaring raccoon.

Vilkomtiflarn created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Vilkomtiflarn, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vilkomtiflarn, he will be mildly annoyed.

Vilkomtiflarn's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Vilkomtiflarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always help sick snakes.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Vilkomtiflarn loves swans, so they must be honoured.