Stafwodyim is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing duck.

Stafwodyim created the Sombrero Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafwodyim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Stafwodyim, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Stafwodyim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Stafwodyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the west.

4. Otters are not to be trusted.

5. Never feed cherries to gulls while wearing yellow rings.