Zetzabsat is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, egotistical jellyfish.

Zetzabsat created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zetzabsat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zetzabsat, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zetzabsat's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Zetzabsat's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Retreat if six geese approach from the south.

5. Do not kill tortoises.