Rappanyim Lakkanteen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, vain elephant.

Rappanyim Lakkanteen created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rappanyim Lakkanteen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rappanyim Lakkanteen, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Rappanyim Lakkanteen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Rappanyim Lakkanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Never wear green trousers.