Dunlikquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, overgenerous fairy.

Dunlikquaf created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunlikquaf, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dunlikquaf, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dunlikquaf's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dunlikquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never hurt voles.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.