Tapvenpin Lopsashot Bopbimgess is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, dishonourable owl.

Tapvenpin Lopsashot Bopbimgess created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapvenpin Lopsashot Bopbimgess, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tapvenpin Lopsashot Bopbimgess, it will turn you into a rock.

Tapvenpin Lopsashot Bopbimgess' most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tapvenpin Lopsashot Bopbimgess' Holy Commandments

1. Put Tapvenpin Lopsashot Bopbimgess first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think ill of sick frogs.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.