Hadtinrig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty rhinoceros.

Hadtinrig created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadtinrig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hadtinrig, it will cry a lot.

Hadtinrig's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hadtinrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Always help sick rats.